Sometimes it isn’t fun having an unquiet mind, but what is an unquiet mind?
For me it is like listening to 20 radio stations at the same time. Imagine that for a moment, if you can, 20 individual radio’s, each programmed to a different station, all playing at the same volume. You can pick out bits and pieces from each station, but you can only focus on one at a time, the word focus being used very loosely here.
I have a constant flux (turmoil?) of ideas flooding through my head and every now and again I will be able to grab hold of one and build on it before it is shoved aside by another thought clamoring for a bit of attention. Writing has, for me, become quite difficult over the past two years. The first obstacle is selecting a topic – it’s akin to asking a group of children who would like an ice-cream. If I am able to isolate a topic, the next challenge is to actually write more than 100 words before becoming side-tracked, which often results in my writing becoming very disjointed.
My ability to design has been similarly affected, though I have started work on two pieces recently which I’m hoping to complete somewhere in the next 2-3 months. It is quite an achievement to actually have a piece that I can work on periodically since in most instances I delete my work before saving.
The thoughts are silenced at night, when going to bed, by my medication, and on days when my mood drops to moderately to severely depressed.
Something that has become more pronounced over the last few months is my obsession with certain sounds and styles of music. Some time back it was instrumental music and certain classical pieces, but that has now given way to Cajun/Zydeco bands and Scottish Bagpipes and Drums.
Odd, but then I never did normal very well.
